I Do Stupid Things

Ever have one of those days?  Where everything that could go wrong does?  I’ve been having one of those weeks.  Maybe more than a week actually.  This morning Charming decided he couldn’t wait for me to fill his milk cup and brought me the pitcher. How awesome was that?  Not very since he is only 18 months and carried it sideways to the living room, sloshing milk every where.  For the zillionth time I was frustrated, not just with his inability to leave things alone, but my total failure to put things where they are out of his reach.   Which is why we have described video on several channels.  The boy did it and I have no idea how to get rid of it.

Let’s be clear.  It’s not just Charming causing chaos around here.  It’s me.  Earlier this week I was painting my new (used, of course) dresser in the foyer and thinking about how and what I would be sharing on the blog when the project was finished.  Which prompted me to think about all of the things I do that are really, really dumb that never get shared.  Blogland is full of beautiful projects with great tutorials and tips.  Maybe I just felt like in the interest of keeping it real it was time for full disclosure of what goes on behind the scenes on Cottonwood Lane.  So here goes.

1.  I never, EVER remember to change into painting clothes before I start a project.  Every pair of yoga pants I own (what I live in these days) and most shirts and sweaters have paint splatters all over them.  I have painting clothes.  I even know where they are.  But I’m usually half way through a paint project with a big ol’ smear on my bottom when I think about changing clothes.  I am so seriously tired of my own self.  And I’m out of clean clothes.  These days, all I seem to own are “painting clothes”.

2.  I put my open paint can in really stupid places.

I know better.  Even when I perch it on the edge of a chair and think to myself,  “Lady, that is dumb” I still hope for the best.  And act utterly shocked when I knock it over.  Thankfully, that’s only happened once twice a few times.  But still.

On that note….I didn’t even notice I had knocked the paint over when I was working in my bathroom until I felt something wet under my bottom.  I had been walking through and sitting in paint for quite some time by the time I figured it out.  Wound up painting in my underwear that day while letting my shoes and stuff dry out.  Those shoes were brand new, too.  Once again, forgot to change my clothes.

3.  I don’t use drop cloths.  I’m either really lazy or over-excited to start a project.  Probably a combination of both.

Thankfully, I’ve discovered that rubbing alcohol (and a paint scraper if necessary) removes latex and chalk paint from everything.

4.  I spray paint on the lawn.  Again with the drop cloth issue.  My grass has been a rainbow of pretty colors since last fall, just waiting to be cut.  Since we’ve had next to no snow this year, I feel a little foolish every time I look outside.  Having said that, there are no pictures because we just had two feet of snow dumped on us in less than 24 hours.  I do not exaggerate.

5.  I’m supposed to be organized and efficient but I rarely put things back where they belong.  I seem to spend a lot of time looking for things that have not been returned to their designated spaces.  This lovely habit has led me to having to repurchase things I already own.  I am the proud owner of 4 hammers, 3 levels and at least 3 measuring tapes….although can only find one right now.  I’m super glad I’m not the author of an organizing blog.  Note the empty spaces on the tool board.

Note the hammers in the bin along with all sorts of other things that did not belong on the kitchen table.

6.  I can’t remember to charge the battery for my….. well, anything.  The phone is usually dead. The battery operated drill/screw driver is never ready to use.   Although in fairness, I knew I should have bought the electrical one.  The hardware guy talked me into the battery charged screw driver because it was cheaper.  Lesson learned.  I can’t ever use it because it’s never charged!

7.  I seem to have been born without the gene that helps you put the lids back on things. I drive my family crazy.  I don’t just not put the lids on, I actually tend to lose them.

It’s been a problem since childhood.  When I was 13 my father hauled me up to my bathroom to show me a bottle of shampoo that had no lid on it.  I wish I was kidding when I tell you the punch line.  He said I have to put lids on things because if we have an earthquake everything will spill.  I kid you not.  We have never experienced an earthquake where I’m from EVER.  I blame my father for not giving me a better reason to keep track of lids.  Seriously?  This was the best he could do? Because it doesn’t take an earthquake for things to spill.   Or cake up and be ruined.

8.  I’m addicted to organizing magazines.  I might have tried one or two ideas but nothing has ever really stuck.  Which is sad because I long to live the life portrayed in these mags.  The kids used to call it “mom’s porn” when I hauled out the magazines with an intent to finally fix things.  I never throw them out either.  They might be several years old or brand new but I haven’t given up on the belief that something, some day will stick and change my life for good.  So I have a house full of magazines with great ideas that I never implement.  But I can’t stop buying them.  There’s some in every (unorganized) room.

Hidden in the ottoman.

Tucked away on shelves.

And hiding in night tables and under the bed.

There you go.  The behind the scenes look at Cottonwood Lane.  Feel free to cough up some confessionals of your own.  Confession is good for the soul and I’d love to hear from you. Now back to our regularly scheduled program of pretty, finished projects and tutorials.

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  1. OH My, we could be friends! lol! I spilled a container of juice the other day all over my kitchen. I was so mad that I couldn't blame it on my kiddos, but it was all me.

  2. This post is so endearing! I can relate to a lot of your examples. I don't use drop cloths, I don't put on old clothes before painting are just a few. The other day I had to go buy another level because I couldn't find the one we had…now I can't remember where I put the new one…Ugh! Hey, at least you have a toddler for a reason to be distracted. Mine are 15 and 19…no excuses for me unless age counts.

  3. I giggled through this whole post lol –
    I think you've captured most DIY'ers – our brains are flying all over the place and we just don't
    have time to be organized LOL
    Great post!

  4. I cracked up about your dad's earthquake comment. Hilarious! And I do every.single.thing. you do, especially doing dumb things that I know are dumb at the time but I guess I think I have the smarts to handle it (ha!) or like to live dangerously, not sure which. And for a cautious person, I tend to throw caution to the wind – A LOT! Thanks for the fun and relatable post~
    Liz @ Quirky Vistas

  5. Believe me, I am guilty of a few of these EXCEPT putting my paint can in crazy places…I am sooo paranoid about spilling paint, it's the one thing I am very careful with. :))
    I just linked up to follow you….I'm over from 504.
    Come by for a chance to win a Goose Creek candle…it will make your house smell so good while you are searching for lids…:)

  6. I have the same paint clothes problem. One time I even managed to get paint on a pair of my husbands sweatpants when I put them on because none of mine were clean. I thought I wouldn't get anything on them. He seemed genuinely dismayed! I've been working on organizing various areas of my house for the past four weeks. One organizational project led to another until now I have five rooms with stuff out on the floor. But the tool bench is now immaculate! I have high hopes that this weekend I'll be able to shift the rest of it around and finish. Ya think? Thanks for keeping it real! — Min

  7. I believe you sneaked into my house at night and took pictures after we were sleeping….soul sisters. Thank you for linking and keepin' it real!

  8. You are so funny! And I totally relate to the paint clothes. Today was actually the first time I just put my paint clothes on first. How much do you want to bet I won't even paint?

  9. We are twins separated at birth! I never know where I set something down. I spend forever looking for something I had in my hand a moment ago. How can I use 11 brushes for only 2 paint colors? The mind boggles. Let's blame it on the excitement of creating!!

  10. Let's see:
    – forget to change clothes – check
    – set the paint in dumb spots – check
    – don't even realize it when I am standing in paint – check

    We have a lot in common except that I do not have an little one creating chaos and it was a beautiful sunny day in my neck of the woods.

    Love your humor.

  11. Just busted a gut laughing!! The same in this house. I have more t shirts with a speck here or there because of painting!! Gardening in the summer is my weakness. Summer clothes are all stained or pulled from a thorn somewhere. Oh well! This was the best post ever!

  12. Girl – I use drop cloths!! I've got a dropcloth made into a curtain on my front window so no one can see in and discover my unorganized messes!! I've also got a drop cloth for a couple of showers standing in as shower curtains!! The worst part about my lack of organization is my plastic ware cabinet…………. They can put a man on the moon but nobody has REALLY figure out a way to organize that one!!

    Hugs ~~ Suz

  13. Dear Readers,

    I love you all so much! Thanks for sharing your bloopers with me….I feel a little less alone in my silliness. I'm recovering from a hysterectomy this week and looking forward to visiting everyone's blogs and linky parties.


    PS. Karen, I still lose the flip top lids.

  14. Ok I have done them all but the lid thing, in fact 2 weeks ago I made a new pair of paint pants because I did not want to shave my legs and my others were cropped! I have a tree in my front yard that is still 1/2 red from being stupid and lazy and painting a shelf against it. This is being featured on I freakin' Did it Friday later today!

  15. Holy Reality, Batman! Someone who admits she's human…YAY! (I'm a Pinterest addict, but it's nice to see someone imperfect after all those wonderful project pins!)

    I spray paint on the lawn, too–except I choose an area in the backyard, under a tree, where nothing much grows anyway.
    And I am a magazine addict myself–the trick is to ask for a NOOK color for your next special occasion and get your mags on that–all in a nice little "container." It won't help with what's already there, but it will keep you from adding to it! (You could also tear out articles and start keeping them in a binder or notebook.)

  16. We are living parallel lives! I was embarrassed reading this because it all reminded me if myself- which is kinda cool, too, because now I know I'm not the only one who does this stuff. A few years ago I was painting 100+ yr old trim in our old rental home and my hand cramped and I dropped the entire can of ultra bright white super-super gloss paint….on 100+ year old original hardwood floors……….you would think that woulda taught me about drop cloths….but, no……..now I'm just thankful that our current house already has carpet that needs to be replaced! :). Also, if you get paint on your cloths (and you actually care), I've learned that if you put it I the wash right away, it will come off (as long as the paint isn't dried on)…. I've have also finished painting a few things in underwear. Nice. Yes, I just posted that into the w.w.w.! Eek! Sorry kids!:)

  17. Love this post! I can't seem to throw away magazines… it makes me feel like I'm giving up on the grand ideas I had when I bought them. Thanks for sharing!

  18. May I say a big thank you for posting this. I hope you didn't have a horrible self-punishing day as a result. And to everyone else who commented–thank you. You made me feel a little more okay about some of the stuff I do. I always have a bunch of half- executed great ideas making piles in my house. Some projects eventually do get finished but I keep hanging onto the UFO 's too. One time I moved my step ladder with the paint still on the little shelf and got it all over myself–including my bare legs. The paint guy had sold me methyl hydrate as a thinner for this paint, but when I used it, it didn't work and I had a crying fit in the bathtub thinking it would never come off and my poor hubby of 2 months had to rush back to the paint store only to discover that it used regular paint thinner after all…which worked fine. I blame it on fumes.

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