Ever have one of those days? Where everything that could go wrong does? I’ve been having one of those weeks. Maybe more than a week actually. This morning Charming decided he couldn’t wait for me to fill his milk cup and brought me the pitcher. How awesome was that? Not very since he is only 18 months and carried it sideways to the living room, sloshing milk every where. For the zillionth time I was frustrated, not just with his inability to leave things alone, but my total failure to put things where they are out of his reach. Which is why we have described video on several channels. The boy did it and I have no idea how to get rid of it.
Let’s be clear. It’s not just Charming causing chaos around here. It’s me. Earlier this week I was painting my new (used, of course) dresser in the foyer and thinking about how and what I would be sharing on the blog when the project was finished. Which prompted me to think about all of the things I do that are really, really dumb that never get shared. Blogland is full of beautiful projects with great tutorials and tips. Maybe I just felt like in the interest of keeping it real it was time for full disclosure of what goes on behind the scenes on Cottonwood Lane. So here goes.
1. I never, EVER remember to change into painting clothes before I start a project. Every pair of yoga pants I own (what I live in these days) and most shirts and sweaters have paint splatters all over them. I have painting clothes. I even know where they are. But I’m usually half way through a paint project with a big ol’ smear on my bottom when I think about changing clothes. I am so seriously tired of my own self. And I’m out of clean clothes. These days, all I seem to own are “painting clothes”.
2. I put my open paint can in really stupid places.
I know better. Even when I perch it on the edge of a chair and think to myself, “Lady, that is dumb” I still hope for the best. And act utterly shocked when I knock it over. Thankfully, that’s only happened
once twice a few times. But still.
On that note….I didn’t even notice I had knocked the paint over when I was working in my bathroom until I felt something wet under my bottom. I had been walking through and sitting in paint for quite some time by the time I figured it out. Wound up painting in my underwear that day while letting my shoes and stuff dry out. Those shoes were brand new, too. Once again, forgot to change my clothes.
3. I don’t use drop cloths. I’m either really lazy or over-excited to start a project. Probably a combination of both.
Thankfully, I’ve discovered that rubbing alcohol (and a paint scraper if necessary) removes latex and chalk paint from everything.
4. I spray paint on the lawn. Again with the drop cloth issue. My grass has been a rainbow of pretty colors since last fall, just waiting to be cut. Since we’ve had next to no snow this year, I feel a little foolish every time I look outside. Having said that, there are no pictures because we just had two feet of snow dumped on us in less than 24 hours. I do not exaggerate.
5. I’m supposed to be organized and efficient but I rarely put things back where they belong. I seem to spend a lot of time looking for things that have not been returned to their designated spaces. This lovely habit has led me to having to repurchase things I already own. I am the proud owner of 4 hammers, 3 levels and at least 3 measuring tapes….although can only find one right now. I’m super glad I’m not the author of an organizing blog. Note the empty spaces on the tool board.
Note the hammers in the bin along with all sorts of other things that did not belong on the kitchen table.
6. I can’t remember to charge the battery for my….. well, anything. The phone is usually dead. The battery operated drill/screw driver is never ready to use. Although in fairness, I knew I should have bought the electrical one. The hardware guy talked me into the battery charged screw driver because it was cheaper. Lesson learned. I can’t ever use it because it’s never charged!
7. I seem to have been born without the gene that helps you put the lids back on things. I drive my family crazy. I don’t just not put the lids on, I actually tend to lose them.
It’s been a problem since childhood. When I was 13 my father hauled me up to my bathroom to show me a bottle of shampoo that had no lid on it. I wish I was kidding when I tell you the punch line. He said I have to put lids on things because if we have an earthquake everything will spill. I kid you not. We have never experienced an earthquake where I’m from EVER. I blame my father for not giving me a better reason to keep track of lids. Seriously? This was the best he could do? Because it doesn’t take an earthquake for things to spill. Or cake up and be ruined.
8. I’m addicted to organizing magazines. I might have tried one or two ideas but nothing has ever really stuck. Which is sad because I long to live the life portrayed in these mags. The kids used to call it “mom’s porn” when I hauled out the magazines with an intent to finally fix things. I never throw them out either. They might be several years old or brand new but I haven’t given up on the belief that something, some day will stick and change my life for good. So I have a house full of magazines with great ideas that I never implement. But I can’t stop buying them. There’s some in every (unorganized) room.
Hidden in the ottoman.
Tucked away on shelves.
And hiding in night tables and under the bed.
There you go. The behind the scenes look at Cottonwood Lane. Feel free to cough up some confessionals of your own. Confession is good for the soul and I’d love to hear from you. Now back to our regularly scheduled program of pretty, finished projects and tutorials.